Chicago and Uncertainty

It appears that there has been a lot of uncertainty already in this trip to the Midwest. This appearance has ruminated from my gut and continues to cut at my confidence the closer we get to Monday.

We're currently planning on visiting the campus of a school here in Chicago to look at their Rhetoric and Public Culture program. Rachel and I have discussed taking our interest in university life to the next level and pursuing a PhD that would allow us to teach world-round, hopefully. My uncertainty is shooting so high that the sky might reject my ammunition and drop it back on my head. In a dizzy whirlwind of rejection I'd then only be left trying to pick up pieces and make sense of what does not. I guess that's faith.

Pray for us this weekend and in the coming weeks about how we're going to address our next steps. Our discussion in the airport yesterday concluded with a resolve something like this: We just want to put our full selves into the next adventure as if it is the adventure we are going to be defined by for the rest of our lives, and we don't want to start something in anticipation of starting the next thing shortly after that. We want to be all in and put all of our creative efforts into accomplishing that thing.

Onward into the unknown. This feeling now makes me think of Moses compared to the people of Israel in Exodus 20:18-21:
"Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, 'You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, lest we die.' Moses said to the people, 'Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin.' The people stood far off, while Moses drew near to the thick darkness where God was."

Onward to thick darkness, albeit pretty dark.